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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

USA seeks to join Russian Federation

A "Putin for President" search gets 115 million results
by Kevin Barrett, TruthJihad.com

Fed up with their nation's corrupt, mendacious, ineffectual leadership, a group of Americans is seeking to join the Russian Federation.

"We are collecting signatures for a national referendum on whether to remain a failed state - an economic basket case run by criminal oligarchs - or to join the Russian Federation under a President with a proven track record of bringing oligarchs to heel," said Bill Blatsky, head of the Join Russia - Putin for President committee.

Referendum proponents point out that the US has deep historic ties with Russia. "Nearly 20% of the United States consists of Alaska, which was historically Russian territory," Blatsky explains. "Even today, Sarah Palin can look out her window across the Bering Strait, see the glittering lights of Vladivostok, and sigh longingly, wishing she were over there in a civilized country, where an ignorant hick like her wouldn't stand a chance of getting elected dogcatcher. Why would Americans wish to remain in a nation that would even contemplate putting such a person within a heartbeat of its presidency? By joining the Russian Federation, we would become part of a country with at least a semblance of an educational system."

The Putin for President movement points out that America's West Coast from San Francisco northward - the coolest part of the USA - is also arguably a historic part of Russia. "It isn't just Alaska," Blatsky explained. "There is a reason that the world's leading marijuana producer, Humboldt County, California, is named after the Russian explorer and marijuana connoisseur Alexander Von Humboldt, who planted the Russian flag on these shores but forgot about it due to short-term memory dysfunction. Unfortunately, I can't remember what that reason is. And let's not forget that Bohemian Grove, where America's criminal oligarchs meet annually to plot their plunder, is on the Russian River. Wouldn't it be great if Putin sent a battleship up that river and arrested all those guys?"

Opponents argue that a join-Russia referendum would be unconstitutional. Supporters respond that everything the US government has done since 9/11, and most of what it was doing before that, is also unconstitutional, but nobody seems to care.

If the Join-Russia Referendum fails to make the national ballot, supporters have a fall-back option: Running Vladimir Putin as a candidate for the Presidency of the United States of America. Blatsky likes Putin's chances: "If Putin ran against the six most recent major party candidates for President - Barrack Obama, Mitt Romney, John McCain, John Kerry, Al Gore, and George W. Bush - he would win more votes than all the other candidates combined."

Supporters of the Russian and would-be American president are already printing millions of bumperstickers reading: "Putin for President: At Least He's Competent."

When asked about a possible Putin candidacy, an Obama Administration official argued that the Russian president is ineligible for the US presidency because he is not a natural-born US citizen.

Loretta Fuddy, the state official who is said to have produced a photoshopped document proving that Putin was born in Hawaii, could not be reached for comment.








4 comments:

  1. Poll: Americans Think Putin A Stronger Leader Than Obama By Massive 78% – 45% Margin…

    A YouGov/Economist survey of 1,000 adults interviewed March 8-10 found that 78 percent view Putin as somewhat to very strong leader. Just 45 percent see Obama the same way. Worse, more Americans, 55 percent, view Obama as a weak leader.

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-03-13/putins-approval-rating-3-year-highs-obama-hits-record-low

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bravo Dr. Barrett. This is great humor but is actually based on a core element of truth. It is powerful because it makes us laugh but reminds us of deeper truth.

    Yes, President Putin has attained the international status of a major rock star. He is doing everything right inside Russia to make it strong once again, but this time with the Christian Church backing him 100%. His ability to generate a positive image like George Washington is amazing. He has become a major Russian statesman and has now risen to a role of providing effective leadership. He is cool headed, calculating, very controlled and rational and appears very committed to protecting Russia's border and border states from Israeli-directed, American-financed covert ops and attempts to start another color revolution to generate complete chaos.

    British Oil, Israeli and SSG cabal leaders greatly fear Russia and their new Brics economic Union (which is now 50-51% of the world's economy outside of the US Petro Dollar. They want to annex the Ukraine into the EU and bring it under Nato's power so they can asset strip it, disrupt Russia's Gazprom supply lines and establish a new oil and gas monopoly through a new British/Israeli controlled new pipeline system through Syria.

    I would be very surprised if they can succeed against such a crafty and powerful major new statesman such as Putin. Perhaps if they try they will meet their Waterloo like Napoleon did.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear mr. Barret!
    Some time ago I have found Your article "USA Seeks to Join Russian Federation" on Internet. The subject of article so interesting, that I have decided to write to You. Of course You are right, Russia had many lands on the American Continent in the past. But the probability of return of these lands to Russia is represented doubtful. As petitions on a site of the White House about simple secession of some states were rejected, despite the right for their self-determination fixed in the Constitution. I'm sure an American Government will not allow even idea in the minds American Citizens about such Referendum.
    But you speak about accession of the USA entirely, and it will mean the end so convenient and lovely for many in the U.S. Government of a policy of interference in affairs of the whole world.
    It means that there are a lot of people (enough young), got used to live on a social welfare will have to go to work, I don't know as far as it will please them ;-).
    By the way, video about Alaska. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMisb2poJYg
    It will lead to dollar crash, however, nowadays poorly provided and protected from devaluation only that it is used for mutual settlements around the world. How do You think, is world ready for hard Ruble?
    Putin like a President of USA? Well we need Putin in Russia too))) so you have just one way ))) so, once upon a time USSR was 1/6 part of Earth, then Russia will be 1/4?))
    Few words about our educational system. To my great shame I know about American education not too much. But my oldest daughter, when arrived to the USA (now 15 years) she handed over recently final tests at the American school. Me it is surprised a little, really the American education system is so simplified?
    About oligarchs... We have it too enough)
    Mr. Barrett, how do You think how many American Citizens could support idea of Referendum?
    Best Regards, Roman A. Bondyrev

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear mr. Barret!
    Some time ago I have found Your article "USA Seeks to Join Russian Federation" on Internet. The subject of article so interesting, that I have decided to write to You. Of course You are right, Russia had many lands on the American Continent in the past. But the probability of return of these lands to Russia is represented doubtful. As petitions on a site of the White House about simple secession of some states were rejected, despite the right for their self-determination fixed in the Constitution. I'm sure an American Government will not allow even idea in the minds American Citizens about such Referendum.
    But you speak about accession of the USA entirely, and it will mean the end so convenient and lovely for many in the U.S. Government of a policy of interference in affairs of the whole world.
    It means that there are a lot of people (enough young), got used to live on a social welfare will have to go to work, I don't know as far as it will please them ;-).
    By the way, video about Alaska. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMisb2poJYg
    It will lead to dollar crash, however, nowadays poorly provided and protected from devaluation only that it is used for mutual settlements around the world. How do You think, is world ready for hard Ruble?
    Putin like a President of USA? Well we need Putin in Russia too))) so you have just one way ))) so, once upon a time USSR was 1/6 part of Earth, then Russia will be 1/4?))
    Few words about our educational system. To my great shame I know about American education not too much. But my oldest daughter, when arrived to the USA (now 15 years) she handed over recently final tests at the American school. Me it is surprised a little, really the American education system is so simplified?
    About oligarchs... We have it too enough)
    Mr. Barrett, how do You think how many American Citizens could support idea of Referendum?
    Best Regards, Roman A. Bondyrev

    ReplyDelete