Sunday, November 24, 2013
Iran deal fallout: Top ten ways Netanyahu will try to sabotage peace
In the wake of the historic P5+1 deal recognizing Iran’s right to enrich uranium, Netanyahu is howling that it was a “historic mistake” – and threatening that Israel will not be bound by the agreement. The whole world, except for Netanyahu and his assets in the US Congress, is cheering for peace. How will Netanyahu try to sabotage the deal and get his long-desired war with Iran?
Here is Netanyahu’s list of his top ten ways to sabotage peace, leaked to Veterans Today by a reliable source.
10. Marshal a rejectionist front consisting of Netanyahu and leading Warner Brothers cartoon characters, including Wile E. Coyote, Elmer Fudd, Ralph Wolf, Porky Pig, Tasmanian Devil, and Yosemite Sam.
9. Get a bunch of crazy settler rabbis drunk on Mogen-David kosher 20-20 wine and send them to smash wine bottles on the walls of the al-Aqsa mosque.
8. Order Mossad assets such as Andrew Adler of the Atlanta Jewish Times to publish more op-eds calling for the assassination of President Obama under the headline “This Time We Mean It!”
7. Order Mossad assets to send Obama to Dallas and lead the President’s motorcade into a “kill zone” of triangulated sniper fire. (Written across this proposal in Netanyahu’s handwriting: “Worked once, won’t work again.”)
6. Send thugs on motorbikes to assassinate P5+1 diplomats.
5. Use Stuxnet virus to wreck laptops of P5+1 diplomats.
4. Blow up New York skyscrapers, blame it on Muslims, and declare “War on Terror.” (Written across this proposal in Netanyahu’s handwriting: “Worked once, won’t work again.”)
3. Announce that earth is under invasion by aliens, and claim that Iran is on the side of the aliens.
2. Ask Bandar Bush to send al-Qaeda to invade Iran, offer to provide air cover.
1. Confess utter and complete impotence, take out frustrations on hapless Palestinians.
Note: On the copy of this document leaked to Veterans Today, the first nine proposals have been crossed out, while the final one is circled.