Friday, April 5, 2013
Zombie morons swarm internet, erupt into real world
One anonymous Department of Homeland official claims that the situation is even worse than that: "According to unconfirmed reports, throngs of zombie morons may have already broken through thousands if not millions of computer screens, trailing blood and broken glass in their wake as they eat the brains of any halfway-intelligent real-world human they can find." Once a victim's brain has been eaten, the victim becomes a zombie moron himself and shambles around looking for people with yummy, yummy brains.
Rocky Mountain High School in Colorado was recently the scene of an apparent zombie moron attack. Legions of frothing-at-the-mouth zombie moron parents attacked teachers and administrators for teaching students how to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in various languages, including Arabic - whose word for God, used by Arabic-speaking Christians, Jews, and Muslims, is "Allah." Since the phrase "one nation under God" in Arabic is "umma wahida tata Allah" the zombie moron parents, imagining that their children were swearing fealty to the Muslim Brotherhood, began frothing at the mouth and swarming the school, in hopes of devouring the brains of any intelligent life forms they found.
Another recent zombie moron attack occurred at the Daily Beast - a hardcore-Zionist-owned site plagued by frequent outbreaks. The Daily Un-American Beast (DUMB), as people whose brains have not yet been devoured call it, published a Guide to Americans' Craziest Conspiracy Theories - a palpably obvious psy-op designed by zombie morons to influence even dumber zombie morons. By strewing the cyber-landscape with idiotic "conspiracy theories" like "Paul McCartney died in 1966," "lizard people control society," "Obama is the anti-Christ," and "Bin Laden is still alive," mixed in with slightly-less-idiotic ones like "the moon landings were faked," the zombie morons at the Beast are trying to incite the even stupider zombie morons who frequent the site into attacking anyone with enough brains to recognize that 9/11 was an inside job, the Kennedy brothers were killed by insiders, the Federal Reserve banksters and their military-industrial-intelligence complex dominate the Deep State, Zionists dominate the media and own Hollywood outright, and so on.
The Beast's psy-op, so absurdly transparent that only zombie morons could possibly be behind it (and only even dumber ones could fall for it), uses classic, easily-recognizable psychological warfare techniques in a hilariously ham-fisted manner. Two of those techniques, inversion and skunking, are exemplified by the Beast's "Bin Laden is still alive" meme. The truth - that Bin Laden almost certainly died in December 2001, as reported by Pakistani and Egyptian media, and that all subsequent "Bin Laden" events have been hoaxes - is inverted by the Beast, and then "skunked" in the popular mind by identifying it with its ridiculous inversion. (Note that the Beast's whole article is one big attempt to "skunk" the so-called conspiracy theories that are true and gaining credibility among the public.)
The Beast also uses another classic psy-op technique, cognitive dissonance, to terminate any residual thought processes that may be plaguing its acephalic readership. Example: The Beast offers as a supposedly ridiculous conspiracy theory the statement that "29 percent of voters believe aliens exist."
But wait a minute - OF COURSE aliens exist! The absolute minimum number of planets in the visible universe is 6 sextillion or 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 - and the real number (even leaving aside invisible universes and other dimensions) is almost certainly vastly, unimaginably higher. If our world and our solar system are even slightly ordinary - and only a megalomaniacal nut would presume that his world and his solar system are extraordinary - then the universe is teeming with intelligent life, much of it with space-travel and (presumably) time-travel and inter-dimensional-travel technology as far ahead of what we now have as the Space Shuttle is ahead of the scamperings of an ant. If our species, and our world, are not already the property of vastly-more-advanced aliens, we are beating zillions-to-one odds. And whether or not earth is owned or being visited by aliens, as a fair amount of evidence suggests, only a zombie moron without a single viable synapse left could doubt that "aliens exist" somewhere among the untold sextillions of planets.
So the Beast's cognitive dissonance operation works like this: Take a statement that is obviously (intellectually) true - aliens exist - and skunk it so it appears (emotionally) as laughably false. The conflict between the two ways of perceiving the same statement paralyzes the mind of the target - assuming the target has any mind left to paralyze (which, considering the Beast's audience, is a big assumption).
By training its zombie moron audience in the habit of cognitive dissonance, the Beast is hoping that the habit will persist when the audience encounters other "conspiracy theories." For example, when a zombie moron trained by the Beast (intellectually) sees the Twin Towers exploding, but (emotionally) imagines that they are just falling down in gravity-driven collapses caused by evil Muslim suicide hijackers, the zombie moron will instinctively ridicule the obviously-true "conspiracy theory"...and the conflict between intellect and emotion, between truth and falsehood, will paralyze the last few synapses he may possess. He starts drooling and lurching, and is now ready to go out and "eat brains."
COMING UP NEXT: ZOMBIE MORONS EMERGE FROM COMMENTS SECTIONS, BLAST COMPUTER USERS WITH FLAME-THROWERS AND DEVOUR "BARBECUED BRAINS" IN A NEW TWIST ON "FLAME WARS"...