Now It Can Be Told! The REAL Reason Obama Was Nearly Devoured by Carnivorous Plesiosaurs on Mars

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The man-eating martian plesiosaur that nearly devoured Barack Obama, who teleported to Mars via a CIA "jump room" (according to Alfred Webre)
So now I'm begging a famous, Yale-educated lawyer to sue me. Am I crazy?

Dear Alfred Webre: PLEASE SUE ME!

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