Clash of the Titans (Fetzer vs. Tarpley)


Jim Fetzer and Webster Tarpley are two of my favorite people.

Not everyone can say that.

In fact, quite a few 9/11 truthers wouldn't put either Webster OR Jim in their "favorite people" category.

Why not? Well, both are brash, egotistical geniuses. Each has complete confidence in his own analysis. Neither suffers fools gladly.

Both are brilliant scholars AND first-rate extemporaneous speakers, a rare combination. Both have that aggressive speechifying style that is so rhetorically effective - far more effective than the more tentative styles of "careful" folks like David Ray Griffin and Richard Gage. (Even dimwits like Hannity and O'Reilly and Limbaugh can be rhetorically effective with an aggressive style; while even geniuses like Noam Chomsky can be less than effective by being more passive-aggressive than just-plain-aggressive.)

I also like both guys personally. They're uncommonly principled lovers of truth and justice.

Watching them fight it out at the Vancouver 9/11 Hearings was quite a sight. Was it heroic or tragicomic? I couldn't quite decide, so I penned the following ode to Jim and Webster.


Clash of the Titans

Like demigods on old Olympus
Tarpley and Fetzer met,
Each one to cast his own
Titanic 9/11 net
Around fish-schools of facts
And draw them tight back to their boats.
And as they cast those nets, both Titans
Were sure feeling their oats.

First Fetzer cast his net - its breadth
Was breathtakingly wide.
The holograms and Zionists it caught
Were laid out side by side.

Then Tarpley cast his massive net
And caught 46 drills
As well as cures and palliatives
For all the world's ills.

"The coup, you see, was made in USA"
The Web-ster said.
"If you keep blaming Zionists
This movement will soon be dead."

"The truth is all that matters,"
Was Jim Fetzer's proud reply.
"If you keep playing politics
You'll end up in a lie."

Some in the crowd sided with Jim,
Which drove the Web-ster wild:
"Blaming the foreigner," he sneered
"Is the politics of a child."

"It aligns you with the Jew-haters,
Obscurantists, and hacks,
And loads a hopeless burden
On our poor truth-seeking backs."

"But look at all the evidence!"
Was Jim's forceful reply.
"The clues that point at Zionists
Are piled up to the sky!

"PeeNACkers and neocons,
Dancing Israelis too,
Odigo, Zim, and UMS:
The suspects, sad to say, are Jews.

"And let's look at the cover-up:
Kissinger, Zelikow, Sunstein
Mukasey, Chertoff, Salzberger
And Zion's media machine."

"So now you're just a LIHOPPER!"
Web forcefully inveighed.
"You think it was a foreign land
Where these attacks were made.

"The Rogue Network lives on Wall Street
And in London City too.
What you're saying here resonates
With scum who always 'blame the Jew.'"

"If a Jew did it, blame him!"
The Fetz-man blasted back.
"It's tailoring truth to politics
That makes a man a hack."

And on and on like this they clashed,
Titanic egos booming.
The truthers in the audience
All sensed disaster looming.

And then, from deep within the crowd
Arose a little man
Dressed in a plain white lab coat
With a scalpel in his hand.

He said, "I can resolve
This problematic situation.
If you'll allow me, I'll conduct
A minor operation.

"I'm going to open up their heads
And make a little change:
I'll remove their massive egos,
But leave their massive brains."

He performed an ego-ectomy
On both - and from the sound
Of it I hear that Jim and Web
Each lost a hundred pounds.

Much slimmer now, and wiser too,
Webster and Jim made friends,
Agreed to disagree,
And so this poem
Happily
Ends.

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