Hello, students! Welcome to Middle East Studies 101. I'm Dr. Barrett, the Middle East Studies expert. You may have seen me on Press TV or Russia Today... or maybe even on one of those lame minor-league propaganda outlets like Fox, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, or CBS.
As you know, I've been witch-hunted out of the University of Wisconsin by State Rep. Steve Nass. He doesn't want me to tell you what the vast majority of Middle Eastern people think really happened on 9/11, or why they think it.
The bad news is that I no longer get a paycheck for helping educate you.
The good news is that I can just flat-out tell you the truth about what is really going on, instead of watering it down by being "fair and balanced" toward viewpoints that are obviously full of shit.
Today we're going to have a quiz on Middle East Terrorism. Please take out your number two pencils and answer the following questions:
1) What Middle Eastern terrorist organization sent mail bombs to President Harry Truman in a failed attempt to kill him?
2) What Middle East terrorist organization has such powerful US assets that it succeeded in covering up the Truman assassination attempt?
3) What Middle East terrorist group bombed the King David Hotel in Jerusalem on July 22nd, 1946, killing 91 people and injuring 46?
4) What Middle East terrorist group committed the Deir Yassin massacre on April 9th, 1948, killing more than 100 defenseless civilians (mostly women and children)?
5) What Middle East terrorist group bombed American targets in Egypt in the Lavon Affair of 1954?
6) What Middle East terrorist group is suspected of involvement in the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy and his brother Robert Kennedy?
7) What Middle East terrorist group attacked the unarmed American spy ship USS Liberty in June 8th, 1967, killing 34 crew members and injuring 170, in a failed attempt to sink the ship and murder the entire crew?
8) What Middle East terrorist group started the 1967 Mideast war?
9) What Middle East terrorist group orchestrated the 1976 Entebbe hijacking incident, in which 55 people were killed, including Benjamin Netanyahu's brother?
10) What Middle East terrorist group orchestrated the Achille Lauro hijacking, in which wheelchair-bound American citizen Leon Klinghoffer was pushed overboard, triggering outrage around the world?
11) What Middle East terrorist group killed 241 US Marines in Beirut, Lebanon in October, 1983?
12) What Middle East terrorist group is said by a former high-ranking member to be continually “actively spying, recruiting, organizing and carrying out covert activities mainly in New York and Washington, which they refer to as their playground” ?
13) The leader of which Middle East terrorist group celebrated the success of the 9/11 attacks on New York and Washington, and bragged that his organization was behind them?
14) Members of which Middle East terrorist group were arrested for filming (with foreknowledge) and wildly celebrating the success of the destruction of the World Trade Center?
15) The leader of which Middle East terrorist group was warned to cancel his planned trip to downtown London on the day of the 7/7/2005 London bombings?
16) Which Middle East terrorist group is alleged by intelligence insiders to have repeatedly used latest-generation "mini-nuke" hydrogen bombs against Western civilians?
17) Which Middle East terrorist group has targeted all the capitals of Europe and the Middle East with nuclear weapons?
18) Which Middle East terrorist group is believed by most Europeans to be the biggest threat to world peace?
19) Which Middle East terrorist group insists that torturing captives is perfectly legitimate?
20) Which Middle East terrorist group has captured, held, tortured, and killed the most hostages?
21) Which Middle East terrorist group includes religious fanatics bent on taking over the world and enslaving everyone who does not belong to their ethnicity and religion?
22) Which Middle East terrorist group has the biggest presence in the underworlds of the drug trade, human trafficking, illegal human organ sales, the illegal arms trade, and organized crime in general?
23) Which Middle Eastern terrorist group worked extensively on "race-specific bioweapons" with the apartheid regime in South Africa?
24) Which Middle Eastern terrorist group has penetrated and "turned" the global media?
25) Which Middle Eastern terrorist group is best-funded, and where do those funds come from?
Bonus Question: Which Middle Eastern terrorist group is so vicious and dangerous that almost nobody working at any American university dares to openly call it a terrorist group?
The correct answer to every question is "The Zionist Entity." If you called it "Israel," you are being extremely offensive (legitimizing a terrorist group by pretending it's a legitimate country is terribly hurtful to its victims) but I will still give you full credit, as long as you promise to make an appointment with the Office of Diversity, Sensitivity, and Political Correctness.
Note: Our next quiz will be on global terrorism - preview here.