An open letter to Mullah Omar
Dear Mullah Omar,
As-salaamu alaikum and a top o' the marnin' to ye!
(That's a traditional Irish Muslim greeting - I don't imagine you use it much in Afghanistan.)
Anyway, I thought I'd write to ask how you were getting along, and whether you might be able to take some time off from your busy jihad-ing in Afghanistan to invade, occupy, and liberate Europe.
Europe needs liberating a lot more than Afghanistan ever did. Here are some of the reasons:
*Europe is a failed state. The Euro is crashing and the EU will soon follow. If Europe breaks up into a bunch of feuding mini-states, it could cause serious global instability - possibly even a world war. In fact, I think I remember that already happening once or twice.
*Europe is harboring terrorists. The US-NATO high command that slaughtered thousands of innocent civilians during Operation Gladio is still at large, protected by European governments. And let's not forget the terrorists who've been conspiring to bomb innocent countries including Iraq, Libya, Palestine, and your own Afghanistan.
*Europe is consuming large amounts of heroin, thereby subsidizing the criminals in Afghanistan who grow it. As part of the Taliban's "war on drugs," why not cut the problem off at the source - the demand side - by taking over Europe and putting an end to drug abuse, in the same way you so successfully put an end to opium production right before you got invaded?
*And, most important of all, you need to liberate European women from the forced prostitution of the "free market." Take a look at this story from today's London Telegraph:
'If you don't take a job as a prostitute, we can stop your benefits'
By Clare Chapman
Obviously you "radical Muslim fundamentalists" who've been ranting about Western decadence are guilty of serious understatement. To atone for all those years of understatement, please invade us, occupy us, and liberate us. Get our women out of the whorehouses of the "free market" and back into the protective embraces of their homes and families.
I know some will argue that invading someone else's country to force your ways on them isn't right. But since the West did it to you first - many times, in fact - I'd say you owe us one.
In eager anticipation of your forthcoming invasion, occupation, and liberation
I remain, yrs truly
Dr. Kevin Barrett
Labels: decadence, gaza invasion, liberation square, occupation, prostitution, rockefellers, taliban, war crimes, women's liberation