From the moment I started learning about the question of Palestine until today, I never supported the idea of a Jewish State. Instead, I always supported the One State Solution: Let Israel-Palestine be a state for all its people, including the Palestinian ethnic-cleansing victims, without any discrimination based on religion or ethnicity.
But as of today, Naksa Day 2011, I have changed my mind. I now support a Jewish State.
What changed my mind?
Today I read a terrific article by Franklin Lamb (who will insha'allah be a guest on tomorrow's radio show) and watched the famous video of Helen Thomas talking to an importunate rabbi.
The rabbi asked Helen Thomas if she had any advice for Israeli Jews and she said, "Yes - tell them to get the hell out of Palestine." Asked where they should go, she told them to go back to Germany (and Poland and America if they like).
Franklin Lamb explains that this is precisely what more and more Israeli Jews are planning to do. Already more than 100,000 have German passports. That's right -- Germany is fast becoming the #1 haven for worried Jews!
And suddenly a light bulb over my head went on. And even in the absence of an AIPAC bagman showering me with bushel-baskets-full of cold hard cash, I decided to express my undying loyalty to the ever-loving Jewish State.
And placing one hand over my heart and the other behind my back (no fingers crossed!) I solemnly pledged my undying support for the establishment and maintenance of a Jewish State.
After all, the rationale for a Jewish state is that the Jews suffered so terribly during the holocaust that solemn reparations are due.
So far, the solemn reparations from Germans have consisted of bushel-baskets full of deutche marks that pay for wholesale Zionist butchering of the rightful inhabitants of Palestine. That's right: after perpetrating one holocaust, the Germans are paying for another one!
So I say to the Germans: Save your god-damned deutche-marks! Instead, give the Jews a piece of German land on which to establish their beloved Jewish State. That way, they won't have to keep taking your money to butcher Palestinians and build nuclear weapons to frighten off any potential supporters of the Palestinians.
In the long run, giving the Jews land instead of cash will be a whole lot cheaper. The Germans will feel like they've really made restitution, the Jews will have a state with sufficient water resources, and the Palestinians will get their country back.
Everybody will be happy.
Especially the Palestinians.
And AIPAC will suddenly have a nice, secure Jewish state with nothing to worry about. They won't know what to do with the tens of billions of dollars in their slush fund.
The honorable thing to do would be to split it between me, Helen Thomas, and Franklin Lamb. After all, this was our idea.
Got that AIPAC? You can send my portion to:
Dr. Kevin Barrett
Lone Rock, WI 53556
And while you're at it, you can nominate me for the Nobel Peace Prize.
I sure as hell deserve it more than that other guy.
Labels: aipac, franklin lamb, germany, Helen Thomas, jewish state, Kevin Barrett, naksa day, one state solution, Palestine, satire