Lieberman's "draft Americans for Israel" bill

"Eliminate the Middleman" proposal gains support on Capitol Hill

On the heels of his proposal to strip U.S. citizenship from Americans who oppose Israel and Zionism, Sen. Joe Lieberman has introduced a new bill to re-introduce the draft. Unlike other conscription bills, however, Lieberman's would draft Americans directly into the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) rather than  its proxy, the US Armed Forces.

Lieberman's bill, S-2211, states that in the event of an (Israeli) "national emergency," the Prime Minister would authorize the IDF to begin directly drafting Americans who have registered with US Selective Service.

At a press conference Thursday, Lieberman claimed his bill would "eliminate the middleman" and strengthen anti-terrorism efforts. "The bill I introduced a few days ago, which strips US citizenship from those who belong to organizations defined as 'terrorist' because they oppose Israel, does not go far enough. Even though the US has invaded Iraq on behalf of Israel, invaded Afghanistan to secure pipeline routes for the Israeli-owned gas of Turkmenistan, and invaded Pakistan to destabilize it and eliminate the Islamic bomb's threat to Israel, it remains a possibility that Israel will some day be forced to fight for its own survival -- whether by driving the Arabs across the Jordan, or by taking on Iran," Lieberman said. "If and when that day comes, obviously we will need Americans, not Israelis, to be in the front lines."

AIPAC, the American-Israeli Public Affairs Committee, endorsed Lieberman's proposal, but said it did not go far enough. According to AIPAC Director Marvin Feuer, "(The Lieberman bill) is better than nothing, but what we really need is to start drafting Americans into the IDF immediately." An Israeli lobby spokesman explained on condition of anonymity: "Sure it's wonderful that the goyim, who make up 99.8% of the US military, are dying for us in Iraq and Afghanistan. So why shouldn't the IDF itself also be 99.8% Jew-free? Since we lost six million in the Holocaust, why should we have to spill any more precious Jewish blood? Anyone who opposes this (draft Americans for Israel) proposal is obviously a Nazi anti-Semite and probably a conspiracy theorist as well."

Philip Zelikow, author of the 9/11 Commission Report, added: "9/11 was intended to 'seal in blood' the special relationship between the US and Israel, and this bill continues that effort. It will go a long way toward protecting us against the threat that dare not speak its name. Oops! I think I just spoke it."

Opposition to the bill was muted, as the two Congressional Representatives who failed to sign on as co-sponsors were  discovered hiding under their desks, blubbering fearfully but unintelligibly about "the Lobby" coming after them.

The 5,425 American servicemen who have already died for Israel in the 9/11 wars could not be reached for comment.

A bold new idea from "Traitor Joe" is on the fast-track to success!